Everyone fears negative feedback. And to fully understand why, we need understand what negative feedback actually is. Negative is seen as criticism, and people that receive negative feedback can be discouraged and demotivated.
Well yes, criticism delivered in a wrong way and at the wrong time can be seen as such. It can be also done with an unappropriated tone of voice, or even in writing. However, a perfectly delivered message of negative feedback can be the best compliment and ultimate tool for success.
But how can we receive negative feedback without being discouraged by it or by losing our motivation due to it?
Recently, I watched a mindblowing interview with Mel Robbins, a former criminal defense attorney and one of top 20 TEDx talks in the world. The interview was called the Impact Theory with Tom Bilyeu. It discussed about the myth of motivation and explained how to make the micro-decisions that will launch you into success.
In the interview, Mel Robbins states that: “the concept of motivation doesn’t really exist, and because we are human being, we are not designed to do the things that makes us feel uncomfortable, or scary, or difficult. Our brains are designed to protect us from those things. Because our brains are designed to keep us alive. And in order to change, or in order to build a business, in order to be the best of we can be to do all those things, that we know we want to do with our lives. We will need to do things that are difficult.” (Mel Robbins, 2017)
The problem is that we will never feel like doing these things. We only feel motivated to do the trivial things that are easy. This is because of the habit that all human beings possess, the habit of hesitation. And it is all because of our brains, whenever you feel uncomfortable, feeling hesitating, fearing the outcome of your actions, the brain creates a defense mechanism in order to protect you, one of which is called the Spotlight effect. The Spotlight effect is when your brain makes the risk of your actions seem bigger – in order to pull you from something that might become a problem.
Mel Robbins gives us a straightforward way to solve this problem. It is to realize that motivation doesn’t really exists, and to realize that we will never feel like doing the things that makes us uncomfortable or are new to us. We need to wake up and accept this fact that motivation doesn’t exists and that you can sum up your entire life to a micro-moment, where you have the option of taking control of that moment and make a decision.
Receiving negative feedback can bring up some negative emotions and these emotions can take over and make you feel uncomfortable, scared of mistakes and so on. But we can learn how to take control of that moment and make the appropriate decision that enable us to act in a way which turns negative feedback into something more productive. We thus move past the overwhelming emotions and create something positive out of the situation..
We need to welcome negative feedback as perfection comes with exercise. In comparison to positive feedback, negative feedback can show you there is a problem, and gives you the chance to fix it, and improve – either as an individual, or as someone who is working for a business.
Leave a comment below if you find the topic interesting or if you would like to learn more about it!